M: Since we've covered a few major points already, perhaps we could hit a few points of interest in rapid fire.
G: I'm game. Hit me.
M: Miracles?
G: Flukes.
M: Satan?
G: Boy, do I wish I had an adversary. That might be entertaining. Satan, or whatever you wish to call him, is just a personification of evil. Just as people wish to attribute the good things that happen to them to their God, they attribute the bad things that happen to an evil persona, Satan. Alas, it is not so. Stuff happens. Random stuff. Sometimes good. Sometimes bad. No Satan. Just fate.
M: Then I guess Hell is not worth pursuing.
G: Hardly.
M: Suicide bombers.
G: Wasted lives. I've considered leaving a sign for the people that think this is purposeful, since I think it's so senseless, but like I've told you before, that's not my style. There's an awful lot of stupidity done in the name of religion, but none of it is fruitful. I'm more likely to affect the outcome of a soccer match than influence religious events. I was feeling a little Italian this year. I pulled one of the French shootout shots after that jerk Zidane acted on his own. Said the Italian insulted his sister. Boy, that guy ought to be on the line of scrimage at a Packers game. What a pussy.
M: Natural disasters?
G: Not my work, although I think it can be pretty impressive sometimes. Of course what happens on Earth is nothing compared to what happens on some other planets. If your disasters were anything like what happens on more violent planets, then humans wouldn't have gotten this far. On some planets they start over pretty much from scratch every 100,000 years. Earth has gone for millions of years since it's last global catastrophe. The dinosaurs were a really neat evolutionary development. I haven't had that happen very often. Unfortunately they got hammered by a space rock. It could happen again someday. There's an awful lot of big stuff cruising around your universe that I haven't got the time or inclination to keep track of, so there could be another big disappointment on its way here. Hope for the best.
M: Time travel?
G: Einstein had it right when he postulated it, but you'll never harness it. I've seen a few civilizations get close only to screw things up big time. When you do something that changes history, the effects are instantaneous. In a flash, the time traveler is altered critically, and is no longer involved in time travel, and therefore the effect is nullified and history is left unchanged. But what becomes of the time traveler? It's not always orderly. I'd stay away from it and try to cure something instead. Like stupidity. Or politics. Not so different when you think about it.
M: Cloning?
G: So many people who think that by cloning someone's or something's cells that you can recreate them are in for a really big disappointment. You are influenced by so much more than just your DNA. Every moment of your life has an effect on your being, shaping your perceptions, your memories and in turn your actions and reactions. A clone will look like you, and to some limited extent act similarly, but I'd say that about 60% of your being is the result of where you were and what you see, hear, think and respond to a given set of circumstances. Raise Hitler's clone in a Jewish household in Mexico City and you get another result. He would probably be a really funny comedian with a biting sarcasm.
M: Family.
G: Family? Is that a question?
M: No, just a concept. What does it mean to you?
G: I think you're catching on. Family is one of the keys to eternal life. But family isn't just defined in the familiar terms. Family extends to all the people who touch your life, not just the ones related by blood, your way of saying related by sex. Your legacy is what you leave to other people to reflect upon, to act upon, to react to, or to complete. The kids you raise, the people you teach, the examples you set and so on, define your place in eternity. You affect other people in profound ways when you even just talk to them. They take something away from every intereaction.
M: So your legacy is the way you live your life.
G: Absolutely. Is that so hard to understand?
M: So what is the ideal life to live?
G: Teach. But the pay sucks.
M: What's the worst way to spend your life?
G: Hmmm. Good one. If I had to go with one answer I think I would go with...thief. I define thievery pretty broadly though. You can steal objects, lives, hopes, and possibly most importantly, esteem. Take away someone's self-esteem and they are doomed.
M: Do you have any health advice?
G: Drink lots of red wine. I made cabernet sauvignon especially good for you.
G: I'm game. Hit me.
M: Miracles?
G: Flukes.
M: Satan?
G: Boy, do I wish I had an adversary. That might be entertaining. Satan, or whatever you wish to call him, is just a personification of evil. Just as people wish to attribute the good things that happen to them to their God, they attribute the bad things that happen to an evil persona, Satan. Alas, it is not so. Stuff happens. Random stuff. Sometimes good. Sometimes bad. No Satan. Just fate.
M: Then I guess Hell is not worth pursuing.
G: Hardly.
M: Suicide bombers.
G: Wasted lives. I've considered leaving a sign for the people that think this is purposeful, since I think it's so senseless, but like I've told you before, that's not my style. There's an awful lot of stupidity done in the name of religion, but none of it is fruitful. I'm more likely to affect the outcome of a soccer match than influence religious events. I was feeling a little Italian this year. I pulled one of the French shootout shots after that jerk Zidane acted on his own. Said the Italian insulted his sister. Boy, that guy ought to be on the line of scrimage at a Packers game. What a pussy.
M: Natural disasters?
G: Not my work, although I think it can be pretty impressive sometimes. Of course what happens on Earth is nothing compared to what happens on some other planets. If your disasters were anything like what happens on more violent planets, then humans wouldn't have gotten this far. On some planets they start over pretty much from scratch every 100,000 years. Earth has gone for millions of years since it's last global catastrophe. The dinosaurs were a really neat evolutionary development. I haven't had that happen very often. Unfortunately they got hammered by a space rock. It could happen again someday. There's an awful lot of big stuff cruising around your universe that I haven't got the time or inclination to keep track of, so there could be another big disappointment on its way here. Hope for the best.
M: Time travel?
G: Einstein had it right when he postulated it, but you'll never harness it. I've seen a few civilizations get close only to screw things up big time. When you do something that changes history, the effects are instantaneous. In a flash, the time traveler is altered critically, and is no longer involved in time travel, and therefore the effect is nullified and history is left unchanged. But what becomes of the time traveler? It's not always orderly. I'd stay away from it and try to cure something instead. Like stupidity. Or politics. Not so different when you think about it.
M: Cloning?
G: So many people who think that by cloning someone's or something's cells that you can recreate them are in for a really big disappointment. You are influenced by so much more than just your DNA. Every moment of your life has an effect on your being, shaping your perceptions, your memories and in turn your actions and reactions. A clone will look like you, and to some limited extent act similarly, but I'd say that about 60% of your being is the result of where you were and what you see, hear, think and respond to a given set of circumstances. Raise Hitler's clone in a Jewish household in Mexico City and you get another result. He would probably be a really funny comedian with a biting sarcasm.
M: Family.
G: Family? Is that a question?
M: No, just a concept. What does it mean to you?
G: I think you're catching on. Family is one of the keys to eternal life. But family isn't just defined in the familiar terms. Family extends to all the people who touch your life, not just the ones related by blood, your way of saying related by sex. Your legacy is what you leave to other people to reflect upon, to act upon, to react to, or to complete. The kids you raise, the people you teach, the examples you set and so on, define your place in eternity. You affect other people in profound ways when you even just talk to them. They take something away from every intereaction.
M: So your legacy is the way you live your life.
G: Absolutely. Is that so hard to understand?
M: So what is the ideal life to live?
G: Teach. But the pay sucks.
M: What's the worst way to spend your life?
G: Hmmm. Good one. If I had to go with one answer I think I would go with...thief. I define thievery pretty broadly though. You can steal objects, lives, hopes, and possibly most importantly, esteem. Take away someone's self-esteem and they are doomed.
M: Do you have any health advice?
G: Drink lots of red wine. I made cabernet sauvignon especially good for you.
posted by Grog at 8:44 AM
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